Sadness
I need a good friend to stand beside me
And help me through my melancholy
No recriminations and no advice
Just stand by me when I am on thin ice
Someone to notice when I'm not there
And give me a call to show they care
Just to show that there's someone out there
To depend on to help allay my fears
I want to go out, have fun, enjoy life
But not being wanted? It cuts like a knife
It seems what I want is too much to ask
No-one wants to be bothered with that task
To go out in public? Sometimes it's easier to pass
It gets harder and harder to put on that mask
A genuine friendship that makes me feel welcome
Not borne of pity, not an option or an add-on
Someone who sees the good that's in me
To see past the depression and anxiety
To forgive my shortcomings and give me a go
I hang on in hope that this person will show
Feeling not wanted, afraid to come forward
Afraid of rejection, being shunned and ignored
I hate the pain of losing good friends
And the sadness I feel when those friendships end
I am not the me that I once used to be
That person is gone, she has ceased to be
I hate being this new me and feeling this pain
As down to the depths I plunge yet again
Promises broken, friendships turned sour
Has led me to some of my darkest hours
I like that I'm stubborn or I wouldn't be here
Hope keeps me going that I'll be accepted somewhere
I suffer depression and that's not a crime
It can happen to you and your family any time
Nobody knows what their future may hold
What diseases and ailments in your life might unfold
I don't want to be judged, ridiculed or derided
It's happened to me and it's too hard to hide it
Trust me when I say I'm doing what I can
To live my life normally as best as I can
So pause and be kind to the people you meet
Don't worry about me, I'll be back on my feet
© Noelene Kuzman